Money

I got the verdict back about the parking ticket I protested a couple months ago. I lost. I now owe the city of Chicago $120 for not having a city parking sticker in my car. I was just starting to feel like I could begin putting money aside for the equipment I am going to need for next summer and for during the ride. I keep thinking about the $7500 that I still need to raise for the cause also.

I am used to taking care of big projects on my own, putting all my effort toward one thing until it is accomplished and catching up on the other things afterwards. I don't like bothering other people when there is even the possibility that I could do it myself.

I make somewhere in the range of $25,000 per year, or about two and a half times what I need to raise for the cause my cross continental bike ride is supporting. In my brain I tell myself that if I sacrifice a couple big things and work as much overtime as is offered I'll be able to handle this amount myself. But, reality sets in early on along this path. Big things like rent don't go away, car insurance doesn't go away, utility bills don't go away, the cost of eating still exists and those little mishaps like parking tickets don't disappear. I realize that I can't do it on my own and it makes me nervous.

Asking for money is scary. You think you have to pry it out of people's pockets, or you have to explain to the smallest detail exactly why you need it. You think that no matter what you say, the people are going to furl their brow and say, "Now let me get this straight, you want me to give you money so you can ride your bike across the country, what's in it for me?" This is the first time I've had to raise a significant amount of money. Because I have always taken things on by myself, I feel I don't know the people around me as well as I should. I now feel guilty asking them for money, like I am only asking them to be my friend when I am in need.

I like helping people out. I feel like every attribute (my height, my athleticism, my ability to work numbers in my head) was given to me to be used as often as possible to keep them sharp and to help others out. I don't often need to use my ability to haul a couch up three flights of stairs for myself, so in order to keep that skill sharp I need to find someone who is wanting of it.

I have come to realize that by taking care of everything on my own I am being selfish. Some people might want to help me wash the car (strange as it may sound). Asking for people to help even when you know you can take care of it yourself helps build community. While two people are washing a car they can find out things about each other and the job they are doing through conversation and observation. If you wash the car alone it takes longer and you feel more busy. Also it's hard to teach yourself a better way to do something.

I don't know the financial situation of everyone in my church, or my community. I don't want to push people to give me money they can't afford to give, but the amount I have to raise is not relative. Somehow I have to raise $10,000. Broken down evenly that is $100 from 100 people, but I know that my friends who are just out of college would find it far more difficult to support me with that amount than a business man who is 30 years into his career. I need a few people who can give more to help those who just don't have that much to give. Can you help me out, I'm trying to be unselfish. Be part of my journey across North America with me.